Intercultural
Relationships and Self-Disclosure
A
study by Nolan DeBord
No
matter what culture you call yours, friendship and relationships are
always valued. With this being a country
of a grand variety of different cultures it is safe to say that the majority of
us are involved in several intercultural relationships. In fact, with the definition of culture being
expanded in my mind through our text you could say that just about all
relationships are intercultural. While
conducting my research on Judaism I found this to be a topic most touched on
through observation and certainly through my interviews. Intercultural relationships are formed
between individuals from different cultures. (Martin/Nakayama,2010) In the context I will be speaking about these
intercultural relationships are in regards to religious identity.
Through
my process of interviews I analyzed the responses to several questions in
regards to intercultural relationships from two Rabbi’s and a recent Georgetown
graduate. To make this more applicable
to us as students, a lot of these questions were centered on a college
setting. Majority of the questions I
asked received a lot of the same responses which leads me to believe that the
data I have collected is fairly accurate with intercultural relationships envolving
from the Jewish community.
Communication
in an Intercultural Friendship
Some
of the benefits of intercultural relationships are acquiring knowledge about
the world, breaking stereotypes, and acquiring new skills. (Martin/Nakayama,2010) When I asked which was most important to my
interviewee’s the same response I got for all three was breaking
stereotypes. Rabbi Lewis explained that
stereotypes prevent people from having an understanding about a culture, and
when engaging in an intercultural relationship more often than not people find
that most stereotypes are not true and that everyone is different and should
not be labeled by their religious preference.
When engaging in a relationship with someone it can, at times, be
necessary for there to be an understanding of your views and beliefs. Breaking stereotypes help people live
together peacefully.
This
led me to what I found to be the most important topic of my interviews,
self-disclosure. Self-disclosure is
revealing information about oneself. (Martin/Nakayama,2010) In this situation it would be their religious
identity. I saw that a lot of my answers
leaned to disclosing information about being Jewish. This helped me revise a lot of my questions
in further interviews. A specific
question I asked David Phillips, a recent graduate from Georgetown, was “Do you
feel it’s beneficial for you to self-disclose your religious identity to enhance
an intercultural relationship?” He
explained that it is important but not critical. It helps you identify yourself in relation to
others and he continued to explain that he feels that it is important to align
your own identity especially in college.
Disclosing
your religious identity in a personal relationship could be very
challenging. Even for myself I feel that
my religious identity is more private and the comfort level to do this is a
huge factor in an intercultural relationship.
David and Rabbi Lewis explained that there can be challenges in
disclosing this information especially in regards to the comfort level. The
consequences they explained were that you never know how someone is going to
react when you tell them you are Jewish.
It is a harsh reality but there are people in our world today that still
persecute Jews and this is something that needs to be approached with caution. So when do you feel it is absolutely necessary
to disclose your religious identity?
Through all three interviews the answer I got was only in a romantic
relationship. (Martin/Nakayama,2010,pg 397)
A lot of people that practice Judaism feel that it is necessary to be
involved with other Jews and this can be very important when taking a
friendship to a more intimate level. Rabbi
Gross also made the point that when someone criticizes you or your faith it is
also necessary to make a statement of your belief to lay ground rules on your
relationship with that person.
Intercultural
Relationships at Work
Since
I am a college student with hopes of someday having a career I also tried to
focus on the workplace as well as the college setting. Through research I have discovered that this
can be an entirely different ballgame.
My father and I have both worked with David. The only reason I know his religious identity
is because of his relationship with my Dad.
I asked him if he felt it was necessary for people to disclose their religious
identity at work and if it benefits them as he described it does in college. “I am disposed to disclosing that information
at work” said David. He explained that
except for in situations where time off is needed it is not necessary. The work place needs to remain professional
and only on that basis. If you choose to
create friendship, that is on your own terms and should be handled outside of
work. Rabbi Gross and Lewis both agreed
that an intercultural relationship that involves religious identity is neither
relevant nor needed in the workplace.
Conclusion
This
project has opened my eyes on a personal level.
I have had the privilege to interact and conduct interviews with people
and shed light on a culture that I did not know much about. Intercultural relationships without a doubt
are the backbone to most American friendships.
The melting pot we live in is indescribable. We all have different traditions, history,
and religions yet we all live together and aim for the same goal in life which
is to interact in a certain way or achieve a certain thing in our society. I hope that one day culture and religion are
a non-issue and we can all enhance our knowledge through intercultural
communication and friendship.
References:
Lewis, Rabbi. Personal Interview. 7 March. 2012
Gross, Rabbi. Personal Interview. 5 March. 2012
Phillips, David. Personal Interview. 2 March 2012
Martin, J. N., & Nakayama T. K. (2009).
Intercultural communication in contexts (5th ed.). New York, NY: McGraw-Hill
Higher Education.
